My Blog

I never expected na ang dami nakaalala ng bday ko, salamat!!!! Even if this was the loneliest birthday i had,,,you guys made it so diff. kasi andyan kayo for me… again super happy ako sa simple greetings nyo here sa friendster… to JAMES, my bestfriend, my sister happy birthday din!!!! i miss you a lot,,,and i hope God will bless you more,,,i always pray for your safety and i hope kahit di tayo mgksama always remember that i’m here..may cp na ko,,,txt kita…txt ka lang ok??? to PET, grabe, what can i say, you’ve been there when im so messed up, teach me a lot of things lalo na sa kusina,,hehe,,,thanks kasi napatuloy mo ko sa house nyo…sobrang thank you…to ATE RIZA, ate thank you for always reminding and sa guidance…sa lahat ng advices and support, slamat… God is good talaga… to Ros, i was not expecting na babatiin mo ko,kasi kala ko galit ka skin,,hehe,,,cenxa na tlaga,,, kita tyo dis friday,,,saguijo gig…to Charm Baslan, Bem, Joseph,and other people na bumati skin,,,salamat(thank you,,me bumati kasi na mga taga ibang bansa kahit di ko sila kakilala thanks…kakaiba na to,,hehe)… to my GREENPEACE family,,,, naks, salamat po!!!!!im happy being part of this org., especially to Team Juicy(Ate jho,Pajo,Kuya Marco,Mae), Laiza and Team "are you familiar with Green"(ate Anne,Kuya James, Rafi) !!!!

sa lahat na bumati at dahil wala ko cp e di ko na receive,,,thanks din! charm & macky paramdam kayo!!!!!hehehe

to my family, my mom,,,,i miss you…ingatz lagi,,,godbless,,, thank you for everything…i care for you…always remember that… mwah!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!  : )

Ean

it sucks sometimes…when you cant do the things you wanted so much…i wanted to do this and that but i cant and it always end up to nothing…well… im quite disturbed for the past few days…its about making a lot of decision for every problems i got…haiz…if i wanted to stay or not or if this decision will result to something great…hmm… i kept analyzing and analyzing..until i saw my life fleeting…its going nowhere…

i stopped for a while… I said this is it..i had enough… I have to choose something from my options.. Gain something or not…i will make a decision that will make me happy, free and fulfilled even if its simple. I dont care what others might say…

this is my life…

ayoko sa plastik…

sa plastik na timba,,,wlang laman kundi tubig,

sa plastik na madali masira at mabasag….

ayoko sa platik…

sa plastik na madaming arte…ibat ibang kulay ngunit wla man lang silbi sa lalamunan

ayoko sa plastik…

ngtatagal ng ilang taon, ngunit kapag nasunog ay mabaho

nakasisira hindi lang sa kapaligiran, pati na sa kalusugan,,,

masama ang plastik,,,

ibaon ang mga plastik…

ikaw? plastik ka ba???…

  Remember when Meredith Grey uttered the words, "Pick me, Choose me,
Love
me"?.

  Indeed, she still has to learn lessons about love and men. Here are
some
thoughts:

  The Hard Lessons on Love and Men…

1. A man won’t let go if he really loves you.
Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you
and
does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really
loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship.
There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does
not
love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should
have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

  3. Do not get hung up on your past.
Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt
you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare.
He
will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your
simple
mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with
your
ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn’t guard him enough
or
you didn’t make him happy enough.

  4. Do not look into images.
How many times have you met a girl who didn’t have the best image in
school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she
was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is
far
from reality. Do not fear men just because your "supposedly" perfect
ex-boyfriend mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules.
Set your limits on how far you’d go for a guy. It’s perfectly ok to
give
and do everything as long as it’s worth it. And it’s worth it if the
guy
is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him.
Don’t be scared that he’ll break up with you. Once you are afraid of
losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if
something
is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy.
It’s a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it’s
the
guy who’s calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep
on
calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More
so, he will get annoyed. But it’s a girl thing also that your fingers
get
too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible.
Call
only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are
reasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you.
There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and
loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So
don’t
lose hope. Don’t settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to
women.
There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can. Also, do not
believe him when he says it’s just the way he really is. He’s not the
sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks
together?
Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter what.
Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife,
girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can’t get rid of for
whatever
reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he
can’t leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from
any
ordinary mistress.

  10. He must respect you.
No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show
respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it.
Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person
again.

  12. Never start a relationship the wrong way.
Do not steal another girl’s man, for whatever reason. Nor should you
enter
a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound,
getting
back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You
will
only end up wasting more years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a relationship.
Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting
impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn’t come yet. Do
not
choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks,
cars, etc.. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not
fallen
in love yet.

14. Do not settle.
If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up
instantly.
He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem
to
be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.

  15. A relationship has to have love.
Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into
making
the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires
genuine efforts of both parties.

16. Don’t be afraid to be single.
It’s fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you
want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go
out
for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do
not
settle.

17. Be a good girl.
Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with
sincere
intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan
of
spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is
after
you had your bit of fun in your younger years). If you compare your
flings
from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you
happier and more fulfilled.

18. Love without limits.
Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some
things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave
your
everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If
you
didn’t give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

19. You will get over him.
Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love
another.

20. Be the one.
Act like you are the one. Don’t be a nagger. Don’t hinder his gimmicks.
Don’t give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don’t
be
easy. Don’t be like every other girl he had in his life.

     ==================

      City
  "live life to the fullest"

Noong inlove ka pa…

>Ang sarap ng in-love. Sa unang beses niyo mag-date tapos naramdaman niyo
> ang sinasabi nilang “spark” nako, magkaharap pa kayo naiisip mo na ang
>bukas
> Para matawagan mo na siya at maayang makipag-date ulit, pero sa susunod
> kayong dalawa na lang. Hindi ka mapakali pag wala siya sa tabi mo o
>hindi
> mo siya nakakausap sa isang araw, sigurado at sigurado tatawagan mo siya
>sa
> opisina, sa bahay at pag wala doon maglo-load ka sa cellphone mo at
>uubusuin
> ang 300 na prepaid sa loob ng isang tawag na wala naman ibang laman kundi
> bungisngis, kamustahan at kuento tungkol sa lahat ng sama ng loob mo sa
>mga
> ex mo. At ang goodbye sa telepono ay nde matapos-tapos, hindi niyo
>malaman
> kung sino ang unang magbababa at umaasa kang me “Take care” sa huli. Me
> email pa yan sa umaga para masabi mo sa kanya na masaya ka na
>nakapag-usap kayo.
>
> Minsang gumimik kayo at upbeat ang sounds, hala! sayaw ka kahit parehong
> Kaliwa nag mga paa mo, pero gusto niyang sumayaw kaya sige sasayaw ka na
> rin. Kahit ilang mule, arctic at sub-zero ang orderin niya wala kang
> pakialam, mas mabuti nga kse nga puede mo na siyang akbayan at I-hug pag
> medio lasing na siya, pag hindi siya pumalag nako! score! para kang nasa
> langit. Malamang, matapos mo siyang ma-hug eh ayaw mo nang maligo at
>lagi
> mong naaalala ang scent ng pabango niya na me halong amoy alcohol na pero
> para sa yo mabango pa din siya. At siempre tuwing matapos kayong gumimik
>eh
> ayaw mo pa rin matapos ang gabi kaya hihirit ka pa ng coffee, kahit
>isandaan
> ang isang baso, “So what?!?” kamo, pera lang yan ang importante kasama mo
> siya. Masaya ka rin pag na-traffic kayo kse makakapagkuentuhan pa kayo
> pauwi. Matiyaga mong inaral ang pagda-drive ng manual gamit lang ang
>isang
> kamay kse yun isa hawak yun kamay niya o nakadantay sa hita niya habang
> nagmamaneho ka.
>
> Araw-araw magmamakaawa ka na ihatid mo siya at kung puede ka rin niyang
> Ihatid pauwi, at kung lulusot baka pati lunch eh puede na rin na kayo ang
> maging lunchmates. Pag me free time ka eh nasa bookstore ka para
>nagtingin
> ng mga puedeng ibigay na greeting cards. Nakalimutan mo na ang barkada
>mo,
> para sa yo malaking abala lang sila sa napakagandang lovelife mo
>kesehodang
> magtampo pa sila sa yo at magsolian na kayo ng kandila sa inaanak mo sa
> kanila. At kung aalis man kayo nde ka magkasya sa pagte-text lang sa lab
>mo,
> kelangan mong pumunta sa banyo para lang magkarinigan kayo pag tinawagan
>mo
> siya at sabihin na nde ka nag-eenjoy at mas gusto mo na siya ang kasama.
> Pagdating ng weekend nako para kang intsik! alas dies pa lang ng umaga
>nasa
> kanila ka na at me dalang suhol na breakfast para sa nanay niyang
> nakasimangot dahil natutulog pa ang anak niya eh andun ka na. Pagdating
>ng
> gabi kahit antok na antok na siya eh ayaw mo pa ring umuwi, hinihintay
>mong
> makatulog siya sa mga bisig mo para makanakaw ka ulit ng kiss. Iniisip
>mo
> rin kung kelan ka kaya niya ipapakilala sa friends niya?
>
> Nung kayo na, lahat ng monthsary ice-celebrate niyo, me kasama pang
>surprise
> na regalo at date. At nde miminsan mong nabanggit na gusto mo na siyang
> Pakasalan at wala nang ibang babae sa puso at wala ka nang makikita na
> katulad niya.
>
>
> AFTER ONE YEAR
>
>
>
> Mahal ang gimik sa bar, mas maganda kung kakain na lang kayo sa Jollibee
>at manonood ng sine.
> Wag na kayo magkape, masyadong mahal with matching comment na “Leche, me
>ginto ba yan?”
> Mas gusto mo nang kasama barkada mo dahil “minsan” lang kayo magkita sa
>isang linggo.
> Pgakahatid mo sa kanya, nagmamadali kang umuwi sa gabi dahil pagod ka na
>sa trabaho.
> Pumapasok at umuuwi na siya mag-isa dahil nde mo siya masusundo dahil
>puyat ka.
> Syet! wag ka niyang pipiliting sumayaw at nakakahiya.
> Anong tawag? Sa load mong 300, mauubos yun at 1 beses mo lang tinext
>(against 245 na text niya sa yo)
> at 3 minutes mo siyang natawagan. Naubos ang load mo kakatawag sa mga
> barkada mo at kaka forward ng joke sa kanila.
> Pag weekend mas gusto mong manood na lang ng TV o matulog. Pupunta ka
>lang
> Pag tumawag na siya at nagmamakaawang dalawin mo naman siya at me suhol
>na ipinagluto ka niya.
> Kahit automatic na kotse mo nde mo pa rin makuhang hawakan ang kamay niya
>habang namamaneho ka.
> Magastos ang mga monthsary, kung anniversary niyo nga eh wala kang
>regalo, monthsary pa?!?
> Mag-uusap kayo? Baket me problema ba? Kung wala, isang oras kang manonood
>ng
> TV habang siya eh nakatutulog na kahihintay na kausapin mo siya.
> Miss na niyang ini-email mo siya,sagot mo? “Jusko naman araw-araw na
>Tayong nag-uusap ano pa ba naman ang
> sasabihin ko sa yo? Baka gusto mo pa ng card?!?”
> Pag aayain ka niya para gumimik with her friends ang sagot mo? “Utang na
> loob, kung gusto mong lumabas kasama friends mo ikaw na lang mag-isa at
>naiilang ako.”
> Pero pag lalabas kayo with your friends umiinit ulo mo pag tahimik siya
>pag
> nagjo-joke sila tungkol sa inyo ng ex mo sabay tanong “Nde ka ba
>nag-eenjoy? Buiset, umuwi na nga lang tayo!”
> At tungkol naman sa kasal…”Jusko naman, nde mo ba ako maintindihan?!?
>Wala
> pa akong pera saka nde ko maiisip yan ngayon! Sana wag ka namang
>makulit.”
> Sa lahat ng ito, ngingiti na lang siya, iisipin lahat ng ginagawa mo
>noong
> nanliligaw ka pa malamang umaasa pa yun na babalik yun dati sabay
> buntung-hininga at sabi ng malakas…”Kay sarap ng in-love.”

(written by a guy,,,one of the astig na artik dat ive read)

    ruin this fidelity

my dreams of you

all these dying roses

a toast to you and i

eating its way into our secrets

no one should ever let them see

tragedy repeats itself

(it) was all a makeshift love

was all a makeshift love

with blankets and locks

of the words that surround you

you kept me inside

with blankets and locks

of the words that surround you

you lay me down

burning with serenity

idyllic dreams

so close symbols of security

all are gone

eating its way into our secrets

exposed for all of them to see

tragedy repeats itself

(it) was all a makeshift love

was all a makeshift love

with blankets and locks

of the words that surround you

you kept me inside

with blankets and locks

of the words that surround you
a
you lay me down

with blankets and locks

of the words tht surround you

I’m dying for you

and i’m never waking again

In my fantasy Im a pantomime
Il just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean
Words are too messy
And its way past time
To hand in my mouth

Paint my face white and try to
Reinvent the sea
One wave at a time
Speak without my voice and see the world by candlelight

I aint afraid to let it out
Im not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy no such thing as time
Minutes bleed into days
Avant garde
Show me your heresies
And Il show you mine
We only speak in pantomimes on this carpet ride

I aint afraid to let it out
Im not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy you look good entwined
In my hair and skin and spit and sweat and spilled red wine
Youre my deep secret
Im your pantomime
Il just move my hands
I promise youll see what I mean

i never felt this kind of dying… its unending …every inch of my body is torn by this misery,,now i wish it was sudden,,,yet it wasnt,,, the feeling of emptiness I again invited … again, its playing with my hopes, my soul and my sanity… I dreamt of tomorrow,,of shadows that should vanish,,the liberation… Now its all gone,,,nothing was left but The Emptiness, The Wrath of my being,,,

I was a fool, all agreed…

wla akong maisulat,,, wla akong maisulat,,, wla … wla…

nung mga nakaraang araw,,,mabigat para skin ang gumising at mgtrabaho,,,

hindi ko napapansin ang mga oras,,, binubuno ang srili s pagod at kahungkagan

daan o libo man ang mga tao s harap ko,,,nagmimistulang kawalan,,,

ayoko na mkipaglaban s pagiisa at pagkalungkot,,,

pababayaan ko na lang na isang araw mgsasawa din ito,,,

gusto ko bumalik,,, pero di ko na alam kng pano,,,

ayoko na makasakit pa… cguro hanggang d2 na lang,,, 

wla na ko maisulat,,, wla na ko maisulat,,, wla.. wla…

The night belongs to us
We’re caught in a world of our own
We cling to the hope it would change for us
Is it in vain? Is it too late?
Why did it have to be you than I.
I heard the news today.

Is this the beginning of our last dance?
Once around the floor, can we do it again?
I feel the thrill from words we say,
I love you.

Embrace so much tighter
This could be our last together
Heaven sheds tears for the wounded hearts
Our forever has been torn apart

Our vast religions
Won’t help us answer
What was pre-destined for us to have
Since long ago.
It’s hopeless

The world it turns with us
Hold me in closer, don’t let go of me
Now we close our eyes and let go to the night
The night we feel alive.