My Blog

today, im gonna live my life like what i want it to be,,,i used to frown,,,i used to be idle,,,but now,,, i have all the inspiration and courage,,,

"weve all got choices!!!"

screaming without a voice–

unheard griefs , develops thunder

from scratch turned a new

seeking, believing

what did i do?

punished me by your concerns

tearing up my hopes

leaving without a trace

made me marvel…

this is the end!

how can you know

my shadows?

yet i dont know yours…

why all the lies?

wasted time, forgotten minds

mound…

you disturbed my sleep

go away,,,

ill be like this forever…

—ean—

I see you had your mind made up
You group of pitiful liars.
Before I woke to face the day, your master plan transpired.
Something told me this job had more to meet the eye.
My song is not believed? My words somewhat deceiving?
Now I’m unwhole.

(chorus) You’ve waged a war of nerves
But you can’t crush the kingdom
Can’t be what your idols are. Can’t leave the scar.
You cry for compensation. I ask you please just give us…
5 minutes alone

I read your eyes, your mind was made up.
You took me for a fool.
You used complexion of my skin
For a counter rascist tool.
You can’t burn me
I’ve spilled my guts out in the past.
Taken advantage of
Because you know where I’ve come from.
My past.

Waiting
In the calm of desolation
Wanting to break
From this circle of confusion

Sleeping
In the depths of isolation
Trying to wake
From this daydream of illusion

How can I feel abandoned even when the world surrounds me
How can I bite the hand that feeds the strangers all around me
How can I know so many
Never really knowing anyone

If I seem superhuman
I have been
Misunderstood

It challenges the essence of my soul
And leaves me in a state of disconnection
As I navigate the maze of self control

Playing a lion being led to a cage
I turn from a thief to a beggar
From a god to God save me

How can I feel abandoned even when the world surrounds me
How can I bite the hand that feeds the strangers all around me
How can I know so many
Never really knowing anyone

If I seem superhuman
I have been
Misunderstood

Playing a lion being led to a cage
I turn from surreal to seclusion
From love to disdain
From belief to delusion
From a thief to a beggar
From a god to God save me

How can I feel abandoned even when the world surrounds me
How can I bite the hand that feeds the strangers all around me
How can I know so many
Never really knowing anyone

If I seem superhuman
I have been
Misunderstood

Waiting
In the calm of desolation
Wanting to break
From this circle of confusion

Sleeping
In the depths of isolation
Trying to wake
From this daydream of illusion

How can I feel abandoned even when the world surrounds me
How can I bite the hand that feeds the strangers all around me
How can I know so many
Never really knowing anyone

If I seem superhuman
I have been
Misunderstood

It challenges the essence of my soul
And leaves me in a state of disconnection
As I navigate the maze of self control

Playing a lion being led to a cage
I turn from a thief to a beggar
From a god to God save me

How can I feel abandoned even when the world surrounds me
How can I bite the hand that feeds the strangers all around me
How can I know so many
Never really knowing anyone

If I seem superhuman
I have been
Misunderstood

Playing a lion being led to a cage
I turn from surreal to seclusion
From love to disdain
From belief to delusion
From a thief to a beggar
From a god to God save me

How can I feel abandoned even when the world surrounds me
How can I bite the hand that feeds the strangers all around me
How can I know so many
Never really knowing anyone

If I seem superhuman
I have been
Misunderstood

Love is not found in someone else, but ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with.

Important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.

Somethin’ in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There’s somethin’ in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I’ve been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you’ve done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I’m alright, ’cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I’ve waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I’d love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong

He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
That said "use these down to your bones"
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him
I thought "this one knows better than I do"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I’d fit

And doesn’t that sound familiar? Doesn’t that hit too close to home?
Doesn’t that make you shiver; the way things could’ve gone?
And doesn’t it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats, she smelled like sugar and
spoke like the sea
And she told me don’t trust them, trust me
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one, looked at my insides clicking
her tongue and said
"This will all have to come undone"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to blunt me so I’d fit

And doesn’t that sound familiar? Doesn’t that hit too close to home?
Doesn’t that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn’t it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find
You bathe me in your finest wine but I’ll never give you mine
‘Cos I’m a little bit tired of fearing that I’ll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we’d all dream the same?

And doesn’t that sound familiar? Doesn’t that hit too close to home?
Doesn’t that make you shiver; the way things could have gone?
And doesn’t it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?

How come everybody is in love? Every place I go, whether on train, church, school, park, malls or even on public vehicles I see couples feeling so in love? Its funny yet, a sad thought will run in my head soon in time, those couples I met will separate,,, negative thinking yet it happens. I’ve known people for four or seven years they’ve been together, still they broke-up. Now I wonder, is love still there? How come they split up not even thinking what they felt from the very first time they started to fall? How they overcome the problems on those early years, how come they fail to remember all the happiest and the saddest moments theyve shared together? How come they forgot the emotions they’ve invested?… Does love fade?
In a generation right now, its very easy to say that you’re in love, but are they really? Was it really love or something I can’t even define by myself. Its confusing somehow, sometimes I’d say its baduy to see couples sweet w\ each other, sometimes I kinda hate it & would say these two are freaks, ridiculous! but sometimes I marvel then after, I thought will it last? Will love last? Are we really in love to the person or to the feeling of just being in love? Is love a necessity? Does it necessary to love, only to achieve happiness?
Love is such a powerful feeling! It can make you go crazy, can make you whole or broken, can make you smile or cry, can make you fly, can make you fall, can make you see heaven or hell, can make you shine or dry, can make you feel, can make you frozen. But what is really love? Nobody can define it,,, not even the most asperger person in this world. I remember the time I was so stubborn about love. I insisted that the person I cherished that time was "the one" but I was wrong, days, years passed I saw none,,, Now, Im here writing an article about how love can be confusing, how I defy to love, how coward I am, how love turned me unto something I dont even know, how I dont want to risk anymore because I now thought, does love still exist? Will the person youll bestow your love worthy enough? Will that person can make you fly, cry, go crazy or smile? Or is it another mistake, mistake that can make you numb forever? I really dont believe in love right now, but soon in time I will but not now,,,for me this is what love is
"What is love? I think I know now. Its a kind of happiness, an uncontrollable happiness from deep down in your heart when you see the one you love, when he’s beside you, the happiness never dies. Although the happiness is one sided.
Love consists of various things sometimes it is a kind of yearning, sometimes, it is a kind of concern, sometimes it is a kind of everlasting blessing you dont have to hold it in your hands, you dont have to put it on one person. It could be a force, a person, like the winds, rain, thunder and lightning in nature, giving to the earth…"

" She could not however get used to the boy’s absence, and kept blaming herself for her own stupidity in running away from the very thing she most wanted."

"the person who feels freest is the person who loves most wholeheartedly."

"true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."