My Blog

Someone falls to pieces
Sleepin all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
To finally drift away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave

To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Someone finds salvation in everyone
And another only fame
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside their selfish brain
Someone swears his true love
Untill the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united?
Healthy or insane?

To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

And even when you’ve paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up
With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
don’t lose any sleep tonight
I’m sure everything will end up alright

You may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

fall, trust, love,

betrayed & played,

weep, depressed, lost,

empty mind– bleeding,

complications lead to DEATH!

Lintik na pag-ibig
Parang kidlat
Puso kong tahimik na naghihintay
Bigla mong ginulat

‘di ko man lang napansin ang iyong pagdating
Daig mo pa ang isang bagyong namuo sa malayo
Ihip ng hangin biglang nag-iba,
Sinundan pa ng kulog at kidlat
Sa biglang buhos ng iyo sa akin
Ako’y napakanta

Lintik na pag-ibig
Parang kidlat
Puso kong tahimik na naghihintay
Bigla mong ginulat

Mga halik mo’t mga lambing na inuulan mo sa akin
Binabaha, binabagyo na ako ng iyong mga cariño
Nananaginip ba ako ng gising?
Ay, tinamaan ng magaling!
Nadali mo ang puso ko ng iyong kidlat

Lintik na pag-ibig
Parang kidlat
Puso kong tahimik na naghihintay
Bigla mong ginulat

Lintik, lintik
Parang kidlat

You think you’re smart
You’re not, it’s plain to see
That you want me to follow
It’s killing me let’s see
You’ve got the gall
Come take it all

The jury is coming
Coming to tear me apart
All this bitching and moaning
Come on it’s on

I’m trapped in this world
Lonely and fading
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come
We are stuck in this world
That’s not meant for me
For me

So what you got
One last shot
It seems to me
That you’re not needed
Come on
It’s killing me let’s see
You got the gall
Come take it all

The jury is coming
coming to tear me apart
All this bitching and moaning
Come on it’s on

I’m trapped in this world
Lonely and fading
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come
We are stuck in this world
That’s not meant for me
For me

I’m trapped in this world
Lonely and fading
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come
We are stuck in this world
That’s not meant for me
For me

I’m trapped in this world
Lonely and fading
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come
We are stuck in this world
That’s not meant for me

For me
For me

Hello, I’ve waited here for you, everlong
Tonight, I throw myself into and out of the red, out of her head she sang

And I wonder if everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I’ll ever ask of you
You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when 

I see the couple are walkin` by
Feel like I
Don`t wanna be alone today
So glad no one can see what I hide
Deep inside
How it feels to be
The girl who never gets the right guy
Tell me why
When there`s so much I`ve got to give
I wake up reaching out in the night
Ready to hold him tight
`Til I realize
That nobody is there

When will it be me?
When will I be the one
Somebody`s dreaming of?
When`s it gonna be?
When will I find my heart
Lyin` inside the arms
That never let me go?

I`d really like to know
When will it be me?

My friends seem to have all the love
(Feels like love.)
Knocks on their door and walks right in
I know that I am worthy of what I`ve been wishing for
I can`t wait no more
Love`s nowhere to be found

Feeling his tender touch
(Lying in his arms.)
Talkin` bout forever together
Givin` him all of my love
That`s been trying to break free

Don`t wanna be alone
No more
I`m telling you what I need
I want someone who loves me for me
And when will it be?
Wonder when will it be?

I ask myself
When will it be me?

       iniisip pa rin kita,,,heto nakatulala,,,nagmumukhang tanga sa harap ng maraming tao,,,nakatigil ang mundo ng dahil sa yo,,,bigla ka na lng kc umalis,,,ni hindi k man lang ngpaalam,,,sana sinabi mo ng hindi ako ngkaganito,,,lumulutang sa kawalan,,,sa kalungkutan,,,pinipilit kalimutan, ang mukha mo,,,ang kengkoy mong boses na dati araw -araw na nagpapasaya skin,,,ang expression mong "punyemas" na lumaon ay naging expression ko na din,,,ang kwento mo tungkol sa mga aso mong sila alanis, shan cai at iba pa,,,ang pinsan mo, ang banda mo,,,ang pagtawag mo sa akin ng neneng, at na may pagkatibo ako,,,ang pagiging balahura mo kapag kausap ako, ang pagkanta mo ng wala sa tono,,,ang mga kulitan,,ang mga salitang hindi masabi pero alam na natin kung ano,,,ang pagiging totoo mo na sa huli ay puro kasinungalingan lang pala,,,
         ang tagal mo ng umalis pero ang mga sinabi mo, nananatili pa rin dito, sa konting kokote ko,,,kahit lahat di totoo, lahat pinaniwalaan ko,,,un kc ang sinabi ng taong nagpalingon sa kin ng tatlong beses, ang pinagmukha akong tanga sa harap ng mga kaibigan ko ng dahil sa labis na pag-aalala sa yo, ang taong gustong-gusto ko,,,at nagpabago ng takbo ng buhay ko,,,19,,,
           

i still thought of you

you never really left my mind,

you’re imprisoned in my head.

This is insanity already,

blankly surrounding the whole of me.

You were a place i can never explore

‘coz we live in different worlds

i, in the dark

You, in the light

there is no You and me

There’ll be no us.

Gentle wind i still breathe

hanging in, hoping,,,

my soul, disturbed.

" the things that scares you are the ones worthwhile…"

" if u smash into something good you should hold unto it until its time to let go"

" i think you’re in danger,,, of never recovering,,,you know, when you come across one of those empty-shelled people and you think what the helll happened to you…there came a time that each of those lives where they standing on a crossroads, some place they have to decide to turn left or right,,,no time for chicken shit,,,"

"life is strange"

" knowing people would probably wait for some time"

" you have to live your life sterically, in many directions, never lose your child enthusiasm…and everything will come your way"

Di ako nagsisigarilyo. Takot kasi ako mamatay dahil sa lung cancer. Kung kaya, wala akong kamuwang-muwang kung ano ang reds, lights at menthol, kung ano ang pingkaibahan ng Marlboro, Winston, Lucky Strike o Gudang. Para sa akin pare-pareho lang sila - mga sugo ni Satanas.

Pinangako ko sa sarili ko dati na hindi ako magyoyosi. Kahit kailan man. Walang dadaloy na nikotin sa aking mga baga dahil di ko ilalapat ni isang sigarilyo sa aking mga labi.

Ngunit kagabi, binasag ko ang aking pangako gaya ng pagbasag mo sa iyong mga pangako. Nakalimang sticks ako habang linalagok ko ang ilang bote ng San Mig Light. Sunod-sunod kong naubos ang limang sticks. Wala man lang pag-aalinlangan, walang hesitasyon, basta kuha lang ng kuha ng yosi at biglang sinisindihan ito.

Napaubo ako ng kunti dahil hindi naman kasi ako sanay na makalanghap ng usok ng yosi. Pero titiisin ko na lang ito kaysa maala-ala muli kita.

Hithit-buga.

Ito ang drama ko kagabi. Hithit-buga habang unti-unti kong ninanamnam ang sakit at poot ng nagdaan. Habang dali-daliang hinihithit ang nikotin ng tobacco, inaalala ko ang mga alaalang dali-daliang sinusunog ng yosi. Parang naghahabulan sila - ang apoy at ang aking mga alaala - patungo sa akin. Nagmamadali ang aking mga alaala na sumugod at magpaalam bago sila tuluyang mabura ng rumaragasang apoy. At sa isang iglap, sabay-sabay silang nagpasa-masid sa aking harap. Mga alaalang nagpaligaya sa akin, nagpatatag sa akin, nagpalungkot, nagpaiyak at sumugat sa akin. At sa loob ng limang stick ng sigarilyo, dumaan silang lahat at namaalam kasabay sa pagbuga ko ng usok.

Hithit-buga.

Hinihithit ko ang mga alaalang unti-unting inaamag ng kahapon at sabay ibubuga papalayo upang tuluyang makalimutan ka na. Pabigat ka na kasi, nahihirapan na ako. Inaamin ko masaya ako dati sa piling mo pero ngayon di ko na alam. Inaamin ko, ikaw ang nagpapaligaya sa akin pero ngayon di ko na alam. People change, wika nga nila. Nagbago ka, nagbago ako, nagbago na ang panahon, nagbago na ang taghoy ng panahon. Tinangay ng ihip ng pagbabago ang ating nakaraan at tuluyang natapon sa kawalan.

Nasasakal na ako sa kalagayan ko ngayon. Mahirap naman kasi kalimutan ang isang tao na minsang nagpaligaya sa iyo. Pero wala akong magagawa, una mo akong kinalimutan. Ngunit kahit ganoon pa man, nandito ka pa rin sa aking isipan, tumatambay sa aking alaala. Ngunit, kailangan na kitang kalimutan para makausad na ako kahit isang pulgada man lamang dahil ikaw ang pabigat na naghihinto sa akin.

Pero paulit-ulit ko na lang itong ginagawa - itong mga ritwal ng paglilimot sa iyo. Para na nga akong sirang-plaka, paulit-ulit na parang nahihibang at naprapraning.

Kaya kagabi, itinaas ko ang bandila sa huling pagkaktaon at iwinagayway, iprinoklama ang aking kalayaan sa iyo habang hinithit-buga ang sigarilyong madali ng maupos.